Addressing Inequality Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

Addressing Inequality - Essay Example Being controversial issues, inequity and inequality are closely connected as inequity is the result of inequality. Inequality indicates the distribution of resources across society giving an idea of the difference between what rich and poor people can earn, average income, and redistribution of the county’s income. Countries characterized by high levels of inequality have high levels of poverty showing the fact that the distribution and redistribution of the country’s resources are linked to the poverty issues (Inequality: what is it?). One of the countries with high level of inequality is the U.S. The gap between poor and rich is the widest since 1929 and has doubled in 21 years. During the year (2001 and 2002) the number of poor rose by 1.7 million people. This imbalance is mostly caused by tax cuts which burden the poor more and more. There are complaints that the U.S. laws are unjust as they tolerate oppression of poor people and do not provide them minimum needs. I n Alabama, for example, people who get low income pay higher rate of income tax than those who are wealthy. As an example may be taken the timber industry that has the ownership for 71 percent of the land and pays only 2 percent of the tax. The paradox is that Americans are the richest nation but with the highest poverty rate (Lampman J.). Income inequality which is also among social issues of the U.S. is positively correlated with mental illness, low life expectancy, obesity, drug use, crime and teen pregnancy. Australia is also the country which has documented the growing gap between the poor and rich. The research shows that the most vulnerable Australians have been hardest hit by rising costs for health, education, and public transport services. Pensioners, unemployed, low-income people and aged have faced the harshest rising changes in the living costs. It has also been stated that essential services are placed beyond the reach of the above-mentioned section of the population. Education and medicine have become the services which are sometimes almost inaccessible to many people. The example may be education costs which soared 200 percent above the inflation rate and medical services which are 180 percent above the inflation rate (Holland K., Zimmer E). Inequality in Australia is present in various spheres of life, for example, the average female wage is only 65% of the average wage of a male, and racism is strongly expressed against aboriginals. Inequality is also a characteristic of the polarization of income groups into poor and rich. (Social Inequality in Australia) Hungary is among the countries with low economic growth, decline in wages, and high rate of inflation that has resulted from severe measures, introduces by the government, to make changes in health, educations, and to cut back on the deficit of the government. The above mentioned measures include co-payments in the sphere of health care, tuition at educational establishments. They were intr oduced in 2006 and caused social tension. Poverty of Hungarians is an extreme case of social inequalities. The number of poor is constantly growing. Vast job losses after 1990 caused rapid increase in inequalities and led to privatization and restructuring of wages and prices, and decline in the social transfers value. Declining income security has led to the number of health problems. Hungarians marry late, have few children and in most cases later in life. Life expectancy is also unsatisfactory as citizens live sorter than it would be expected taking into account economic development indicators. One more problem which results from inequality is high death rate especially among certain social groups of people. Hungary is the country for which such social problems

Evaluation of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Experience

Evaluation of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Experience Critically analyse and evaluate your experience of using a cognitive behavioural approach to work on a project of a personal challenge or change, integrating commentary on theory, research and practice. Introduction This work discusses in an analytical and evaluative way my experience of the use of a cognitive behavioural approach towards addressing the personal challenge of being extremely anxious when using personal computers. Firstly, a project summary provides an overview of the situation with references to relevant theory and research. Then the process of cognitive behavioural assessment is illustrated. Next is a discussion of the rationale of the planned interventions and an overall evaluation of the approach. Finally, the application of cognitive behavioural approaches in my work as a psychologist at an NHS psychology centre for adults is provided with some concluding remarks. Project summary My personal challenge is to control my anxiety and dread whenever I have to use a computer. I tend to think of myself as a generally relaxed person unless I have to use a computer, then I become anxious with clammy hands and feel my heart throbbing in my chest. Although I understand that the use of computers is world wide and that using the computer is essential at most workplaces I feel anxious and sometimes sheer panic if I have to use a computer therefore at most times I avoid using a computer. This problem is affecting negatively my work and it is embarrassing to feel computer anxiety in a world full of computers. Literature review Howard Smith (1986) defined computer anxiety as the fear felt towards interacting with a computer that is disproportionate to the actual threat presented by a computer. Tseng, Tiplady, Macleod Wright (1997) observed that approximately 30% 40% of the population is too anxious to use a computer. Recent research by Smith Caputi (2001) emphasises that there is a link between computer anxiety in undergraduate psychology students and debilitating thoughts suggesting further research is needed in order to develop more thorough cognitive models of anxiety. What is anxiety or stress? There is a growing body of knowledge about stress, which has been accumulating since Dr. Hans Selye (Szabo, 1985) who has spent most of his life in anxiety stress research first developed a theory of stress. Many other physicians and psychologists are conducting research on stress, contributing to our understanding and developing promising methods of stress management. The stress researchers are beginning to provide insights into how mind and body work together to produce psychosomatic illness and how this knowledge can be used for prevention. Definition of Stress the General Adaptation Syndrome (in relation to my computer anxiety) As a result of his stress research (Szabo, 1985), Selye developed a definition of stress suggesting that stress is the bodys non-specific response to any demand placed on it whether that demand is pleasant or not and this definition is relevant to my personal challenge of being stressed about using computers. This definition means that the body has a three-stage reaction to stress: (1) alarm, (2) resistance and (3) exhaustion. This three ­-stage response is the stress syndrome called the General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS). (1) In the alarm stage, the body recognises the stressor, which for me is the computer and prepares for fight or flight. My body achieves this state by sending messages from the hypothalamus section of the brain, which stimulates the pituitary gland to release its hormones, which then trigger the adrenal glands to pour out adrenaline. As a result, the rate of my breathing and my heartbeat are quickened, my blood sugar level is raised, my rate of perspiration is increased, my pupils become dilated, and the digestive processes are slowed down. These factors create a huge burst of energy, an increase in muscular strength, and a heightening of vision and hearing natural aids to fight or flight. (2) In the resistance stage, the body must remain alert, leading to the stage of exhaustion. (3) The exhaustion stage means much more than being physically and mentally tired out. When somebody is tired in body and mind, a little extra rest or a change of scene will often quickly restore the person to full vigour; then the person has not reached physiological depletion. When somebody is physiologically exhausted, the body has lost its ability to continue to resist the continuing stress. It has used up its supply of adaptive energy and its defence mechanisms, such as its immune response, are no longer functional. The body is now vulnerable to the stress diseases, including high blood pressure, arteriosclerosis, migraine headaches, gastrointestinal disorders, rheumatoid arthritis, and asthma. The body may even give up during this stage and die. Most physical or emotional stressors do not last long and produce changes in somebody from being in the first and second stage. Usually people go through the first two stages frequently during the course of our lives, as part of our successful adaptation to the many demands of living. I tend to feel alarmed and pressurised to not use a computer being anxious about using the computer and sometimes I get headaches thinking that I should be using computers like everybody else. Positive Stress Versus Distress From what has been outlined above one might think that stress of any king is bad, but that is not the case. According to Selye (1974) there is a need to experience some stress all the time. Even when somebody is asleep our dreams produce stress. I have woken up from nightmares being in front of a huge computer unable to go back to sleep. Thinking about stressors (the computer) and situations I have experienced when my father tried to teach me how to use a computer made me realise that those were the first times I experienced stress to use a computer. This type of stressor is classified by Selye (Szabo, 1985) as damaging and liable to distress, while other stressors such as horse riding I find pleasurable. Situations then are subject to different interpretations. For example using computers is stressful for me, but a delight for others. A key idea that Selye (1974) presents is that what matters is not so much what happens to us, but the way we take it. Herein lays the key to stress ma nagement, which will be considered further later on. Selye (1974) calls the stress that we need for our survival and well-being positive stress. Examples of positive stress include those times when our bodies stress-response mechanisms stimulate us enough to produce a peak performance for an important job or to come through despite a bad cold or a lack of energy. At times, we have performed feats of strength in emergency situations even the seemingly impossible, like single handily moving a huge weight, such as getting a stalled car to the side of the road. Other examples of life situations generating positive stress are going on a first date, taking an examination, and when we are infants, learning to walk. We also get excited and enjoy watching our favourite team in a match. Pleasurable emotions produce positive feelings of exhilaration. For reasons not yet understood, these positive stresses energise us produce healthy relaxation. I would like to be able to feel positive stress and enjoy using computers instead of being distressed. A medium level of pressure and stress leads to peak performance. The performance curve (please see next page) shows that as tension and pressure increase, so our performance increases to a certain point. If pressure continues to increase to a level that is beyond our ability to cope then it soon becomes unhealthy and it can lead to exhaustion and breakdown. It is important to recognise that stress and pressure are different. Pressure is the demands that are placed upon an individual. Pressure itself is not a bad thing and can help to motivate individuals. Stress is the negative experience that results when individuals feel unable to meet the demands upon them. Performance anxiety curve The kind of stress that is bad for us and can be harmful is called distress. Distress results when the stress continues so that we need to keep adapting to it. If the distress continues long enough, it can result in exhaustion. Exhaustion usually affects only parts of the body, a runner in a marathon produces severe stress on her muscles and cardiovascular system which leads to the exhaustion stage, but after a good rest she is back to normal and looking forward to the next race (Malmo, 1959). Computer anxiety Having reviewed the types of stress and the stage responses to stress in terms of neurophysiologic responses, behaviours, thoughts and feelings I find Selye’s (1974) description of the negative stressors best describes my reaction towards using computers. Furthermore, Rosen and Weil claim that one third of college student population feel some anxiety towards using computers (DeLoughry, 1993). Although the literature suggests that I’m not the only one being anxious towards the use of computers I often feel anxious about it and this has a negative influence on how I feel about myself. Assessment What is CBT in relation to assessment and therapy of computer anxiety or stress? Cognitive behavioural assessment is a continuous process of evaluation and monitoring during the length of therapy. According to Kirk (1994) there is a clearly set process to follow aiming to reach agreement with the client about what is the target problem; then to obtain enough detailed information about what factors are responsible for the continuity of the problem and then a process of change with high client involvement. Often clients come for a CBT assessment without any prior knowledge and it is useful to illustrate the main aspects of CBT. Primarily cognitive behavioural therapy assumes that a person’s feelings and behaviour are influenced by his thinking therefore emotional problems are the outcome of debilitating, negative and unrealistic thinking and therapy starts by increasing the person’s awareness of their debilitating thoughts and changing them. CBT is a combination of cognitive therapy, behaviour therapy and learning in way that explains thoughts, feelings and behaviours as the outcome of learning. This learning can be changed so people can change their old learning and gain new ways of thinking, feeling and behaving. Social learning is one approach to learning that postulates people learn by observing what others (role models) do and say (Bandura, 1986). Social learning theory attributes my computer anxiety and stress to when my father was teaching me how to use a computer and he wasn’t patient with my progress. Taking into account that in social learning theory rewards reinforce behaviou r for me then the absence of rewards and the punishment received for not learning by my father to use the computer made me computer averse and anxious. Datttilio Padesky (1990) showed how CBT is a holistic approach because it considers thoughts, feelings, behaviour, social environment, personal history and physiology that influence my computer anxiety – stress. Further, Beck (1995) described CBT as a procedure of guided discovery where the client discovers methods and techniques that will help them to identify and address their debilitating thoughts. The guided discovery works by the client having certain ‘homework’ to complete between CBT sessions in order that he understands which of his thoughts are based on reality he experiments by behaving in different ways that test the reality of his thoughts and he can discover which thoughts are true based on experience instead of mere assumptions. While discovering true thoughts based on his experiential learning the client is encouraged to learn new skills and behave differently in order that his behaviour matches his true thoughts. The assessment of my computer anxiety and stress was done by a behavioural interview and a stress assessment questionnaire (see appendix 1) followed by self-monitoring information. According to Kirk’s (1989) cognitive behavioural assessment framework during the first stage of assessment in the interview the questions I was asked aimed to capture exactly what I feel, think and how I behave when I suffer from computer anxiety – stress. A list of typical situations in which I became anxious and stressed at various degrees was made (see appendix 2). Having discussed my problem then the onset of my anxiety and my stress towards using computers was investigated taking into account the first time I remember being anxious towards using the computer, how it continued and the predisposition to anxiety. My anxiety was measured as a general anxiety – stress concept on Selye’s (1974) classic questionnaire (see appendix 1). I said how my anxiety to use computers started since my father tried to teach me as a teenager with strict rules and impatience. Since then I always felt apprehensive, anxious and sometimes stressed out when having to use a computer especially of others are looking to see how I’m getting on. Aiming to gain enough detail about the content of a problem, cognitive behavioural assessment focuses on the interaction of four ways of responding to a situation: cognitive; emotional; behavioural and physiological (Kirk, 1989). I was asked to remember a recent situation that I felt anxious and/or stressed when having to use a computer and describe what I was thinking (cognitive), feeling (emotional), did or said (behavioural) and any changes on how my body felt. I remember how two days ago I was asked by my tutor to attend a computer class because he thinks if I get to practice using computers I will feel less anxious about them. I became stressed out when the whole class looked at me because my computer was making a loud noise tha t wouldn’t stop because I pressed something. I discovered that although I could remember what I felt (emotional) what I did (behavioural) and how sweaty my hands were (physiological) it was difficult to remember what I was thinking. Because of that my ‘homework’ was to start using a self-monitoring anxiety diary. Self-monitoring information is often used to enhance the effect of behavioural interviewing because it provides the opportunity to describe a problem (my computer anxiety) over time getting specific information about every time I experienced computer anxiety. That makes it also possible to see how often I have computer anxiety. I was asked to record the situation that provoked my anxiety, when it happened and my response using the four systems (thoughts; emotions; behaviour; physiology) as soon as possible after the event for a week. A 0-10 rating scale was also used to measure the intensity of my anxiety (see appendix 3). Beck (1995) describes homework as an essential part of cognitive behavioural therapy and as a way to emphasise its collaborative and self-help principles. This anxiety diary was useful in examining my problem with sufficient detail becoming able to point out what might be holding my problem in place using two ways: a cognitive ABC (Antecedent-Belief-Consequence) model and a behavioural ABC (Antecedent-Behaviour-Consequence) model. Trower et al., (1988) illustrated the cognitive ABC model explaining behaviour in terms of processes that take place between an environmental stimulus and behaviour. According to this model something happens and then the client focuses his attention on it and this is called Antecedent (A). Then the interpretation of what happened occurs in the form of a belief (B) and a consequence (C) which may involve a behaviour and feeling(s) (see appendix 4). On appendix 3 a number of trigger situations are listed during the week of self-monitoring. The analysis of these situations using a cognitive ABC model identified a pattern of common thought processes linking the triggering event and my anxious-stressful consequence (see appendix 4). I also used the behavioural ABC model, based on operant conditioning (Skinner 1974 in Glassman, 2000) to examine why I repeatedly get computer anxiety (see appendix 5). Similarly to the cognitive model there is an antecedent (A) then the behaviour (B) response to the event and the consequence (C) is the outcome of the behaviour. The negative reinforcer I noticed is avoiding the use of computers when asked to use them which then follow negative self-talk about not being able to master the use of a computer. I found this model less useful because of its superficially descriptive nature it does not account for thoughts. Motivation to change Miller (1983) claims that a clients motivation to change is represented as a comparison between the advantages and the disadvantages of changing because both continuing and changing a behaviour is a choice having pros and cons. I’ve done that (see appendix 6). Then I considered Prochaska. DiClemente’s (1986) model of behavioural change where the client develops from an initial precontemplation stage (with no thoughts of change) to contemplation (where the client evaluates advantages and disadvantages of changing); to preparation (where planning and commitment occur) leading to taking action towards behavioural change. If the client takes action(s) to change their behaviour then they progress to maintenance (where efforts focus on long-term change). I discovered that I’m in the contemplation stage having done the comparison between the advantages and the disadvantages of eliminating my computer anxiety it is obvious that advantages are more than the disadvantages. Plan of interventions for eliminating computer anxiety I considered several possible solutions to eliminate my computer anxiety and have discussed with my doctor the possibility of taking medication to free myself from anxiety symptoms (e.g. palpitations) when thinking of computers and when addressing them. I will do: 1. Controlled breathing technique 2. Deep muscle relaxation 3. Set smart goals in order that I get one-to-one help with learning to use computers 4. Progressive relaxation 5. Self-monitoring Evaluation CBT is a very useful approach for dealing with stress because it offers clear methods to support clients by observing, analysing and learning coping skills to deal with anxiety. The use of medication to provide relief from anxiety symptoms can be combined with CBT in order to maximise the short-term outcome. Essential for CBT is the therapeutic relationship to have empathy, trust and respect so that the client does homework between sessions and feels empowered to help themselves. It is beyond the scope of this project to evaluate the therapeutic relationship. However, I certainly developed a self-help attitude and became more aware of my thought, behaviours, feelings and physiology during computer anxiety events having progressed through the Cycle for Change. I need to develop further my motivation in terms of smart goal setting with times, milestone, have a support network and reward myself for achieving milestones and the goal of eliminating computer anxiety. Conclusion Having implemented self-monitoring I discovered that by dominant behaviour is to avoid the use of computers but that does not eliminate my computer anxiety. This is a valuable insight also about the key role my thought processes have in suffering from computer anxiety. The plan to use relaxation techniques; design of smart goals and have one-to-one supportive advice when dealing with computers is what I’ll do in addition to self-monitoring in order to conquer my challenge of computer anxiety. This project provided me with more thorough understanding of CBT assessment and therapy which I will use in my life and at my clinical practice. References Bandura, A. (1986). Social Foundations of Thought and Action: A Social Cognitive Theory. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall. Beck, J. S. (1995). Cognitive Therapy: Basics and Beyond. New York: Guildford Press. Datttilio, F.M. Padesky, C. (1990). Cognitive Therapy With Couples. New York: Guilford Press. DeLoughry, T. J. (1993). Researchers Say ‘Technophobia May Afflict Millions of Students’, The Chronicle of Higher Education, 28 April, 25-26. Howard, G. S. Smith, R. D. (1986). Computer Anxiety in Management: Myth or Reality? Communications of the ACM, 29, 611-615. Kirk J. (1989). Cognitive behavioural assessment. In Hawton, K. Salkovskis, P. M. Kirk, J. and Clarke, D. M. (1989) editors. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy for Psychiatric Problems. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 13-51. Kirk J. (1994). Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Psychiatric Problems. Oxford: Oxford medical publications. Malmo, R. B. (1959). Activation: a Neurophysiological Dimension. Psychological Review, 66, 367-386. Miller, W. R. (1983). Motivational Interviewing with Problem Drinkers. Behavioural Psychotherapy, 11, 147-172. Prochaska, J. O. DiClemente, C. C. (1986). Towards a comprehensive model of change. In Miller, W. R. Rollnick, S. Motivational Interviewing: Preparing People for Change. New York: Guilford Press. Selye, H. (1974). The Stress of Life. New York: McGraw-Hill. Skinner, B. F. (1974). About Behaviourism. London: Cape. In Glassman, (2000) Approaches to Psychology. London: Open University Press, 25-47. Smith, B. Caputi, P. (2001). Behaviour and Information Technology, 20,Number 4, 1 July, 9, 265-273. Szabo, S. (1985). The Creative and Productive Life of Hans Selye: a Review of his Major Scientific Discoveries, Experientia, 41, 564–567. Tseng, H. M., Macleod, H. A. Wright, P. (1997). Computer Anxiety and Computerised Versus Paper and Pencil Assessment of Induced Mood Change. Computers and Human Behaviour 13, 305-316. Appendices Contents Appendix 1: Danger Signs and Symptoms of Stress, Selye (1974) Appendix 2: Typical situations that I’m anxious – stressed when using a computer Appendix 3: Anxiety diary Appendix 4: Cognitive ABC model Appendix 5: Behavioural ABC model Appendix 6: Motivational change – advantages disadvantages Appendix 1: Danger Signs and Symptoms of Stress, Selye (1974) The following checklists are not precise enough to provide an accurate assessment of you but they can be a beginning point for reflection. If you have more than two of these physical signs, you may be placing your body under high risk from excessive stress. More than four of the following mental symptoms (or a total of four physical and mental symptoms) also indicate that you are a high-risk candidate from excessive stress. Summary scores Appendix 2: Typical situations that I’m anxious – stressed when using a computer When I: Try to navigate through different programs Have to do something (I don’t know what) because the computer crashes Try to use the keyboard Place the cursor on a program icon to open it Should write an essay on Word Have to use the computer in front of others Attend a class to learn to use the computer Appendix 3: Anxiety diary Appendix 4: Cognitive ABC model Appendix 5: Behavioural ABC model Appendix 6: Motivational change – advantages disadva

Hedda Gabler Essay -- essays research papers

TITLE : People may argue that George, Eilert, and Judge Brack are responsible for Hedda’s death, but in reality it is the fault of Hedda’s society.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  I’ve chosen this statement for several reasons. Ibsen’s character, Hedda Gabler, represents the women of the eighteenth and nineteenth century. Hedda stands the issues of self-worth and the deflated value that each woman places upon her own importance as a result of male dominance.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  We can see this in the play, as we read we learn more about the character of Hedda Gabler. She is the daughter of a General who expected a life if glamour and wealth and rebels against the boredom of a dull, narrow existence by vindictively scheming against everyone around her. Hedda also strives to ruin Eilert Lovborg, the intellectual she once rejected as a suitor. She is meddling in Eilert’s life for her own amusement and control.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  She lives in a male dominance society and environment which caged her and made her lose her freedom. Her desire to escape and her yearning for individual and spiritual freedom come to the surface as she discovers her father’s pair of pistols. Comparing Hedda with the other women of the play we can see that thea wasn’t the woman with the more control. She also had an unhappy marriage because of Eilert’s work. Aunt Julia is different; she likes to help people, she raised George and took care Rina. As far as Berda is concerned, there i...

Humalit Poems – Torres

CHILDREN AND LOVERS Ophelia Alcantara-Dimalanta (1934-2010) children have a special knack for making you feel odd and nude suddenly even with that vaguest piece of smile you ready somewhere to cover a scorching shame when they wickedly naive and sportive barge in without ceremony and when you finally shut that errant door on them again to try resuming love you terminate it both ways instead it seems the look of bewilderment and hurt they leave behind you cannot annul henceforth an alienating chill scudding across your upright headboard flipped into stiffened sheets and consciences eighty and brittle with adult experiences and reconsidered passions confounding even the best intentions but even more final than all finalities fumbled for is the cool crisp â€Å"later† you wall them away with somewhere again love waiting suffers a little falling away you end up wishing lovers are more like gaming children and children less like gnarled impatient lovers. DREAMWEAVERS Marjorie M. Ev asco (b. 1953) We are entitled to our own definitions of the worlds we have in common: earthhouse(stay) waterwell(carry) firestove(tend) airsong(sigh) etherdream(die) and try out new combinations ith key words unlocking power house on fire sing! stove under water stay, earth filled well die. The spells and spellings of our vocabularies are oracular in translation one woman in Pagnito-an another in Solentiname still another in Harxheim and many other women naming half the world together canmove their earth musthouse their fire be water to their song will their dreams well. THE CONVERSION J. Neil C. Garcia (b. 1969) It happened in a metal drum. They put me there, my family that loved me. The water had been saved just for it, that day. The laundry lay caked and smellyIn the flower-shaped basins. Dishes soiled with fat and swill piled high in the sink, and grew flies. My cousins did not get washed that morning. Lost in masks of snot and dust, their faces looked tired and resigned to the dirty lot of children. All the neighbors gathered around our open-air bathroom. Wives peered out from the upper floor of their houses into our yard. Father had arrived booming with his cousins, my uncles. They were big, strong men, my uncles. They turned the house inside-out looking for me. Curled up in the deepest corner of my dead mother’s cabinet, father found me.He dragged me down the stairs by the hair into the waiting arms of my uncles. Because of modesty, I merely screamed and cried. Their hands, swollen and black with hair, bore me up in the air, and touched me. Into the cold of the drum I slipped, the tingling too much to bear at times my knees felt like they had turned into water. Waves swirled up and down around me, my head bobbing up and down. Father kept booming, Girl or Boy. I thought about it and squealed, Girl. Water curled under my nose. When I rose the same two words from father. The same girl kept sinking deeper, breathing deeper in the churning void.In th e end I had to say what they all wanted me to say. I had to bring this diversion to its happy end, if only for the pot of rice left burning in the kitchen. I had to stop wearing my dead mother’s clothes. In the mirror I watched the holes on my ears grow smaller, until they looked as if they had never heard of rhinestones, nor felt their glassy weight. I should feel happy now that I’m redeemed. And I do. Father died within five years. I got my wife pregnant with the next. Our four children, all boys, are the joy of my manhood, my proof. Cousins who never shed their masks lay them for all their snot and grime. Another child is on the way. I have stopped caring what it will be. Water is still a problem and the drum is still there, deep and rusty. The bathroom has been roofed over with plastic. Scrubbed and clean, my wife knows I like things. She follows, though sometimes a pighead she is. It does not hurt to show her who is the man. A woman needs some talking sense into. If not, I hit her in the mouth to learn her. Every time, swill drips from her shredded lips. I drink with my uncles who all agree. They should because tonight I own their souls nd the bottles they nuzzle like their prides. While they boom and boom flies whirr over their heads that grew them. Though nobody remembers, I sometimes think of the girl who drowned somewhere in a dream many dreams ago. I see her at night with bubbles springing like flowers from her nose. She is dying and before she sinks I try to touch her open face. But the water learns to heal itself and closes around her like a wound. I should feel sorry but I drown myself in gin before I can. Better off dead, I say to myself and my family that loves me for my bitter breath. We die to rise to a better life. Humalit Poems – Torres CHILDREN AND LOVERS Ophelia Alcantara-Dimalanta (1934-2010) children have a special knack for making you feel odd and nude suddenly even with that vaguest piece of smile you ready somewhere to cover a scorching shame when they wickedly naive and sportive barge in without ceremony and when you finally shut that errant door on them again to try resuming love you terminate it both ways instead it seems the look of bewilderment and hurt they leave behind you cannot annul henceforth an alienating chill scudding across your upright headboard flipped into stiffened sheets and consciences eighty and brittle with adult experiences and reconsidered passions confounding even the best intentions but even more final than all finalities fumbled for is the cool crisp â€Å"later† you wall them away with somewhere again love waiting suffers a little falling away you end up wishing lovers are more like gaming children and children less like gnarled impatient lovers. DREAMWEAVERS Marjorie M. Ev asco (b. 1953) We are entitled to our own definitions of the worlds we have in common: earthhouse(stay) waterwell(carry) firestove(tend) airsong(sigh) etherdream(die) and try out new combinations ith key words unlocking power house on fire sing! stove under water stay, earth filled well die. The spells and spellings of our vocabularies are oracular in translation one woman in Pagnito-an another in Solentiname still another in Harxheim and many other women naming half the world together canmove their earth musthouse their fire be water to their song will their dreams well. THE CONVERSION J. Neil C. Garcia (b. 1969) It happened in a metal drum. They put me there, my family that loved me. The water had been saved just for it, that day. The laundry lay caked and smellyIn the flower-shaped basins. Dishes soiled with fat and swill piled high in the sink, and grew flies. My cousins did not get washed that morning. Lost in masks of snot and dust, their faces looked tired and resigned to the dirty lot of children. All the neighbors gathered around our open-air bathroom. Wives peered out from the upper floor of their houses into our yard. Father had arrived booming with his cousins, my uncles. They were big, strong men, my uncles. They turned the house inside-out looking for me. Curled up in the deepest corner of my dead mother’s cabinet, father found me.He dragged me down the stairs by the hair into the waiting arms of my uncles. Because of modesty, I merely screamed and cried. Their hands, swollen and black with hair, bore me up in the air, and touched me. Into the cold of the drum I slipped, the tingling too much to bear at times my knees felt like they had turned into water. Waves swirled up and down around me, my head bobbing up and down. Father kept booming, Girl or Boy. I thought about it and squealed, Girl. Water curled under my nose. When I rose the same two words from father. The same girl kept sinking deeper, breathing deeper in the churning void.In th e end I had to say what they all wanted me to say. I had to bring this diversion to its happy end, if only for the pot of rice left burning in the kitchen. I had to stop wearing my dead mother’s clothes. In the mirror I watched the holes on my ears grow smaller, until they looked as if they had never heard of rhinestones, nor felt their glassy weight. I should feel happy now that I’m redeemed. And I do. Father died within five years. I got my wife pregnant with the next. Our four children, all boys, are the joy of my manhood, my proof. Cousins who never shed their masks lay them for all their snot and grime. Another child is on the way. I have stopped caring what it will be. Water is still a problem and the drum is still there, deep and rusty. The bathroom has been roofed over with plastic. Scrubbed and clean, my wife knows I like things. She follows, though sometimes a pighead she is. It does not hurt to show her who is the man. A woman needs some talking sense into. If not, I hit her in the mouth to learn her. Every time, swill drips from her shredded lips. I drink with my uncles who all agree. They should because tonight I own their souls nd the bottles they nuzzle like their prides. While they boom and boom flies whirr over their heads that grew them. Though nobody remembers, I sometimes think of the girl who drowned somewhere in a dream many dreams ago. I see her at night with bubbles springing like flowers from her nose. She is dying and before she sinks I try to touch her open face. But the water learns to heal itself and closes around her like a wound. I should feel sorry but I drown myself in gin before I can. Better off dead, I say to myself and my family that loves me for my bitter breath. We die to rise to a better life.

The Sound of Writing

I was staring at empty space. I tried to look for the fixed contours on the paper and the silhouette of the pen I was holding. I tried but to no avail. My mind was swimming in an endless array of uneasiness. I was not certain whether I was dreaming or already awake. This was hard, I told myself. I felt a drop of sweat trickling down my cheek. Thomas Edison once said that genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. If he was right then I was on the right track. But doubt was slowly lurking and creeping around me. Was it really this hard to be inspired to write? I just comforted myself by constantly saying what Jean Anouilh once said, that inspiration was a farce that poets had invented to give themselves importance.When I was starting to become a writer, I was not even aware that I was trying to be one. Grade school for me was seventy percent playing and thirty percent dreaming. And my dreams during that time were all about winning an Academy Award or being named as one of the sexiest people in the world. Becoming the next president was also in my mind. But the thought of being a writer was like imagining myself eating salad with an alien in a crater of a moon in one of the planets in the Andromeda galaxy; it never crossed my mind.In a nutshell, when I tried to analyze how I was as a writer in grade school, all I could say was that I was a courageously idiotic writer. An idiot, but brave nonetheless. This was largely due to the fact that everything I had written at that time was not even close to being brilliant or great. All the words I wrote were simply inspired by having the guts to just do it. If there was a paper too difficult to do and a word too hard to define, all I did was to write and write because I believed that everything would be just fine.I was stupid enough to go forth while all hell broke loose and still smiled at the end of the day. I was guided by my own foolish belief I was brave simply because I would not back awa y. This was writing for me in grade school. Writing for me back then was not about being witty or being brilliant. Writing was all about just stroking my pen without regret and without regard for the outcome. However, in a sense, everyone who attempted to write had some ounce of courage. I felt that I was a better writer than the other students not because I wrote well but rather, I wrote braver. And I was braver longer than most. As Ronald Reagan once mentioned, heroes were not braver than anyone else. They were just braver five minutes longer.As I made the transition from grade school to high school, I started to become idealistic. I began having these grand notions of changing the world and eradicating poverty. I was dreaming of winning the Nobel Peace Prize or be named the next Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. This time, I was absolutely clear in becoming a writer. Writing for me during high school was all about greatness. I felt the need to write to impress. I wanted to be witty and brilliant. I wanted everybody to be mesmerized in reading every single word I wrote. When I tried to look back during those days, even when I wrote poorly, I blindly presented my written work of art full of hubris and unafraid. I often compared writing to boxing.As Muhammad Ali would say, to be a great champion, a person had to believe that he was the best. If he was not, he should pretend that he was. This was me in high school. I was the writer who was so full of himself. If a teacher or a classmate did not like what I wrote, I simply told myself that these people did not understand the high level of writing I was doing. I understood myself to be a brilliant and confident writer. In reality, compared to who I was as a writer in grade school, only one thing had changed. If I was a brave and idiotic back then, I was not confident but just cocky in high school. And to my realization, I was still stupid for thinking of how great I was.When I stepped into college, a ren ewed vigour was awakened within me. Maybe I got too tired of being cocky and stupid that I started seeing a new side of me I never saw I had. This time I believed I had transcended from being the good and the better man to the being best man. I was no longer the idiot and stupid writer. I was filled with excitement. I was now the fool. Somehow, the words and lines I were using suddenly all sounded a bit poetic and romantic. I often pondered if I was to be the next William Shakespeare.This time, I was inspired by the others that had gone before me. I wanted to sway the hearts and minds of people with my writing. I wanted to invoke their deepest darkest secrets through my words. I wanted to encapsulate each soul with a stroke of my pen. I longed to see their tears and hear their laughs by my artistry in poetry. I would be that whom which T. S. Eliot described as the genuine poet who could communicate his words before it was understood. And to my shock, I did see their tears and heard their laughs because of what I had written. I saw my professors crying in pain because they could not even bear one more word of my work. I heard laughs not because I was funny, but because my work was hilarious. Despite this, I still continued and persevered. As one of my favourite authors, Richard Bach, would say, a professional writer was an amateur who did not quit.Everything was a bit different after that. Somehow, until to this very day, I would still be idiotic, stupid and foolish. But this time around, I was a wise fool at the least. I had been quoting Edison, Anouilh, Ali, Reagan and Eliot just to name a few thinking that by using their words, I would be a good writer; I would sound better. But I soon realized that writing was about finding my voice.I needed to find my own words. Writing was about knowing and understanding who I was. Thus, I resolved to search for the right words, the right imagery, the right tone and the right sound. However, I always asked myself if there were indeed such things. Then, it hit me. I was so concerned with the way I was writing that I forgot to find my purpose for it. Why did I want to become a writer? The answer was simple. It was because in writing, I offered who I was and not what I had. That sounded right, I told myself. It sounded just about right.